Those of you who come to support group know Carol, who works with me in the office. Carol is really awesome, always sharing a unique perspective. Yesterday, she was telling me about something she read regarding a tightrope and somehow we were talking about the analogy of walking a tightrope and walking the grief journey.
Anyway, if you read my posts regularly, you also know that when I get something like that stuck in my head, it usually doesn't leave. So, I have been thinking about this tightrope walk that I have been doing for the last three years.
There is this kind of crazy man named Nik Wallenda who has been on the Today show several times. His claim to fame is tightrope walking....he has walked over Niagra Falls and over a highway in Sarasota (without a safety harness, which really makes him crazy in my opinion), and now I think he is preparing to walk across the Grand Canyon.
I am kind of drawn to these stories, because I am typically not a risk taker and the fact that there are people out there who do such daring things is interesting to me. Crazy, but interesting.
So, you are probably asking yourself what in the world this has to do with grief. Well, let me tell you.....I think I can honestly say that my grief journey, my walk through the agony of loss, is my tightrope.
This walk has been so intense for me at times, so unpredictable, that sometimes I feel like I lose my footing. Like my balance gets shaken by some trigger. Sometimes, it is hard for me to hold on with my feet steady and not look down. You see, if you lose confidence and look down for just a second, it is over. You will almost surely succumb to the abyss below. You have to look ahead, keep your eye on the prize, so to speak. Though, in this case the prize isn't a monetary award or a trophy or an interview on the Today show. But, it is healing and hope and a place where rainbows show their colors and laughter abounds. I call it "the other side".
I want to make it there. I want all of us to make it there. It is so hard to walk this walk, especially with no acrobatic training whatsoever. But, I know I can do it. And I know you can, too. Maybe not in record time, but that is not my goal. My goal is just to make it.