For all of us mothers who are not holding our babies in our arms this Mother's Day,
For all of us who have only the memories of a few short minutes or hours or just a few days to get us through a lifetime.
For all of us who cry during the night because our arms are so empty.
For all of us who have felt a love so deep and a grief even deeper.
For those of us who have had to make heart-wrenching decisions, knowing our babies would not be coming home with us.
Mother's Day can be very emotional. While you may not hold your baby in your arms, you always hold him or her in your heart. Be easy on yourself this weekend. You are a mom; an amazing mom; a mom who knows all too well what it feels like to miss your child today. In my opinion, that makes you even more special.
The first Mother's Day after we lost Elizabeth was very hard. At church, our priest has a tradition of having all the mothers stand up for a blessing. Then he has all the moms with one child stand up, then those with 2, then those with 3, and so on until he can reward the one with the most. For those of us who sat in the pews, not knowing when or if to stand, it was excruciating. I felt sad for myself and sad for a friend of mine who had been suffering from infertility for years. After that, I decided that I would be in charge of my own Mother's Day.
I surround myself with those who are sensitive. I do something in honor of the daughter that I lost. I take it easy on myself, if that makes sense.
For those of you who may be struggling with the question of "Am I a mother?", I challenge you. Think about this question: If you were to lose your parent, are you no longer someone's child? Of course you are, just as you are every bit a mother because you carried and loved your beautiful child.
Take care this weekend...