Most of the best moms I know have no baby at home to hold. Instead, they dream of the babies they hold in their hearts, because their arms are too empty. These moms, in my opinion, are the epitome of what it means to be a mother. They know the intense love a mother knows. They know what it feels like to be not only willing, but ready, to give up their life for the life of their child. They also know what it feels like to lose that child, to let them go from this life. And, to me, this is what makes them the most special moms in the world. No other mother out there can honestly relate to this. It may be a nightmarish thought they have thought at times but dismissed. But, they haven't and they don't live with that reality every day.
Because of the journeys that bereaved moms go through, they cherish their memories more. If they have other children, they understand the instability and the fragility of life and they parent in a different way. Or at least, I know that I do now. The loss of my sweet baby changed me in ways I could never imagine. One of those ways was the way I look at my other children. The way that I listen to their laughter and the way that I watch over them when they go to sleep at night.
Some bereaved moms lose their babies to abnormalities that do not allow for them to live for long, if at all, outside of their mothers' wombs. They love their sweet babies and cherish the time they have. They are heroes to me.
Many of us carried our babies for a period of time in anticipation of the excitement that comes with a new baby, only to leave the hospital without our precious child. No mother should have to do that, but we did and people do it everyday. These mothers know pain, and sadness, and a love so incredibly deep that it always bonds us to that child.
I was told once by a friend, "I feel like I was once a mother." My reply was, "My sweet friend, you are always and ever will be a mother."
I have written before, either here or in our newsletter this question for you to think about: If you lose your mother or your father today, are you no longer someone's daughter? Of course you are! Just like you are always, and forever will be, a mother. You are the only mother your baby knew and all he or she knew was love. The kind of love that can only come from a mother.
Happy International Mother's Day (one day late :)) and peace to you all this Mother's Day.